I am to teach you how to be good
by anacecilia22
Summary: William Hamleigh wants to be saved.


"I am to teach you how to be good."

William stared at the girl. She was small, dressed in plain blue wool and her brown hair was arranged in a modest way, framing her pale heart-shaped face, with a large forehead and strange brown eyes. Her nose was small and delicate and her lips were shaped like a triangle, yet an elegant one no doubt; the were now merely parted as the girl stared anxiously at him. _She's afraid of me_, he thought, and the thought pleased him. _And with good reason_. He smiled, contemplating the girl.

"And what is your name? I must know my angel of redemption's name." he condescended.

"My name is Lea." The girl replied.

"Lea. What a pretty, pretty name." Said William, rising from his seat to get a closer look at the girl. "And what's so special about you, Lea? You don't seem a nun, or an angel, or any other celestial being, so what makes you worthy of saving _me_?" he growled. The girl's fists clenched, but she did not move.

"You told Lady Regan that you did not wish to be taught by a nun, therefore she did not bring you one. And angels are not so easily perceived." Lea cleared her throat. "Although I myself am not a nun, I was raised in a nunnery. I was given a most pious education, and in every way prepared to marry Christ."

"But you didn't." He commented.

"No, I did not. I have no wish to become a nun; that is not how I intend to do God's work. However, my life story is irrelevant. What matters is that your mother deemed me the most fit to teach you in the ways of pureness and kindness of heart, and so I shall. In God's name." Prayed the girl.

"In God's name." He repeated, half-mocking. Then he remembered why the girl was here, and his irony dissipated. "And how do you intend to do that?" he asked, stepping back and seating himself. The girl Lea sat across from him.

"Well, first, we shall talk."

"Whom do you hate the most?" his mother asked, her soft fingers burried in his hair. He took a deep breath and thought. The answer came easily.

"Aliena." he replied.

"And what will you do to her?" she purred, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Have my way with her again and again and again, until she is screaming out my name. Then I'll cut off her tongue and kill her." His last addition made his mother growl in pleasure, turning herself over to face her son, legs straddling him to the bed.

"And whom do you _love_ the most?" she urged. William thought of the girl.

"_What about?" he had asked her. She had looked at him like he was a wounded horse, her eyes filled with such sadness and pity that for a moment William had wanted to hit her._

"_Why do you think you're so full of rage?" she had questioned, tilting her head to the side with a look of rhetorical curiosity._

_Her question had taken him by surprise. "You mean on the battlefield?" he had asked._

"_Among other things, but yes, let's start with that. Why are you so angry on the battlefield?"_

_He hadn't understood. "Well, it's a battlefield. You're suppose to be angry. The hotter your blood boils, the bigger the destruction." He had stated, like it was the most obvious of truths._

"_And you need that destruction?"_

"_I do if I plan on winning!" he had exclamed, annoyed. Was the girl simple?, he had thought. Was this dim-witted girl the one her mother had thought best to save him?_

"_And what about outside the battlefield?" the girl Lea had asked. "Do you also feel the need for destruction there?"_

_He was silent for a long moment. Finally, he answered "Yes.", in a quavering voice._

"_Why?"_

"You." William answered, swallowing dry. She smiled widely and, pinning him to the bed, leaned in closer to her son's face. "And what would you do to me?" she whispered, rotating her hips to distress him. With his voice seemingly gone, William chose to use actions instead of words and pressed his lips against his mother's, fingers fondling in her golden hair. She whimpered in her son's mouth and let herself be held by his tight grip, both of them now sitting in the bed, interlocked in each other. "My sweet William." She panted, her hands lowering to his breeches. Unlacing them, she pulled out his hard cock, placing it inside of her. He grunted, overwhelmed with lust and self-loathing.

_Again he remained in silence. "I don't know." He whispered, not wanting to look the girl in the eyes._

"_Yes, you do. How do you wish to be saved if you keep lying to others and yourself?"_

"_I DON'T KNOW!" he screamed, holding on to his chair's arms for dear life._

"_Yes, you do. Who has ruined you so much that you cannot help but ruin everything you touch?"_

He pinned her down to the bed and began to move his hips rhythmically, deeper into his origin. With each sab, his mother's breath grew heavier and heavier, until she was moaning his name shamelessly. He buried his face in her neck and breathed in her scent, of his mother, his childhood, of his innocence and perversion, and plunged deeper into her, harder now, as if hoping to break her in half.

Her nails dug at his neck and she was sweating, sweating with sin and wickedness and lust, and she drew his mouth to hers once again. He kissed her and bit at her lips until they were bleeding, growling and screaming until his shameful unload.

"_My mother." He whimpered._

"Oh, my sweet, sweet William." She rejoyced, patting his sweaty hair as she locked her legs around her son's hips.

At first he had not wanted her to come. He had raged and he had screamed at her, and she had left without a word, without a cry. That had made him angrier. Wasn't she afraid of him? Didn't she see what he was, what he could do to her?

He had planned to tell his mother that he did not wish to see Lea again, but alas, the constant reminder of his immortal soul's fate had prevented him from canceling their 'appointments'. The girl had said she would make him good. And so she would, or he would beat the piety out of her.

He stormed into his room only to find that she was already there, sitting where she had sat the previous time. He clenched his jaw. "How punctual of you." He mocked.

"It is one of my qualities." She replied, attempting at humour. Her odd brown eyes watched him as he sat across from her. "I heard that you did not wish to see me again. Is that true?"

He gave her a tight-lipped smile. "Yes." That seemed to distress her.

"And why is that?" the girl Lea questioned.

She had told him to be honest, hadn't she? Fine. He'd be honest with her. "Because you can't save me. All you do is make me angrier. All you do is make want to take you right here and now, and beat you afterwards. And still, you do not seem afraid me. That angers me even more." He hissed.

To his surprise, she chuckled, tilting her head to the side in that annoyng manner of hers. "Do you want to know why I'm not afraid you?" she asked. "Because I have seen you. I have seen your heart, Lord William, and it saddens me. You are a sad, abused little boy who strives for the power to abuse others, because he himself is powerless before his own abuser. You are but a child, my Lord, and a lost one." Her smile had faded and her strange eyes grew larger and more disconcerting. "Every time you harm a woman during or after coitus, it is your mother you beat. It is your mother you rape. It is her that you hate, and by extension, yourself."

He struggled to hold back the tears. He would die before letting that bitch see him cry. He was breathing heavily and trying to speak, but no words would come out. Finally, he managed to meekly mumble "So save me."

"I am not here to save you. I am here to teach you how to be good, Lord William. You must save yourself." She stated. He had given up on holding back his tears, and they were now streaming down his face, a sinner's face. God, oh God. How could God love him if even he did not love himself?

"Then do it." He said, trembling. "Teach me how to be good. Please, teach me how to save myself." He begged her. What would his mother say if she saw him now?

Surprisingly, the girl Lea got up on her feet and walked up to face him, taking his tear-filled face with her hands. With her dresses sleeve, she wiped his tears one by one, her odd brown eyes staring into his, as if searching deeply for traces of humanity. "You must vow three things, and you must learn two truths. Can you do that, my Lord?" she pleaded, caressing his cheek. Her touch felt soft on his face, her little pale fingers calming every nerve they touched. She smelt of something clean. Suddenly he thought of how beautiful her eyes were. "Yes." He answered. "Tell me."

Never letting go of him, she began to speak in her controlled tone. "The first thing you must vow to, is to never again touch awoman unless she clearly expresses consent. Do you vow to this, before me and before the eyes of God?" she asked, so little and fraila and yet so full of might.

"Yes", my angel. "I do."

"The second thing you must vow to, is to never again kill a person unless it is done in self defense or in the service of God and His Holy Church. Do you vow to this, before me and before the eyes of God?"

"Yes", my angel. "I do."

"The third thing you must vow to, is to never again engage in incestuous acts. Do you vow to this, before me and before the eyes of God?"

"Yes", my angel. "I do."

She smiled at him, and he thought he had never seen anything quite so luminous. "The first truth you shall learn, is that God sees you. God sees you at all times. He sees through you, he knows what you feel, and what you think, and what you plan to do. He will always see through your heart, so there is no point in deceiving him. Do you understand and accept this?" she asked him, leaning in closer to his face, as if trying to see just as God could see.

"Yes", my angel. "I do."

"The second and last truth you shall learn, is that absolution from your sins is not a bargain, nor a gamble. It cannot be paid, it cannot be handed out. It must be earned, through repentance and redemption. Any clergy man who tells you otherwise is not a man of God, and you must pray that he find his way. Do you understand and accept this?" she asked, and he leaned even closer to her, until their lips were barely apart.

"Yes, my angel. I do." And with these words he met her lips, and kissed her ever so softly. She smelled of heaven and he tried his best not to break her in half. Unlike what he had imagined, she responded to his kiss and didn't shy away when his hands rested upon her waist, bringing her to him. She felt small and fragile in his embrace, and her lips felt tender as he planted soft kisses on them. His mouth descended from hers and trailed down her neck, her beautiful, pale, immaculate neck, and he fell from his chair on his knees and looked up at her as if she was the Lord himself. "My angel." He said, beaming with joy when she responded with a smile. He kissed her tender lips again and raised himself, locking her legs around his waist as he rose.

Her breaths were fast and wanting as he took her to the bed and laid her down upon the sheets. She was so beautiful. His angel sent from God himself. His finger traced her lips and he kissed them once more, laying himself gently on top of her. Her legs immediately closed around his waist and a soft moan escaped her lips. Such a sweet, celestial sound set his insides on fire, heavenly fire, and made him strip her of her dress ever so gently. He then stripped himself until there was nothing between their earthly bodies, and he marvelled at how perfect she was, how her pale milky skin glowed in the sun that pierced through the window and how her flushed face looked at him, like an angel such as her could ever want a sinner like him.

Meeting her lips, he entered her slowly and felt her hips tense in his hands. She let out a small whimper into his mouth and he gasped in terror, facing her to see if she wanted him to stop. "Be gentle." She merely said, as she brought his lips closer to hers again. He sighed of relief and began moving in and out of this unearthly being. After a couple of times, she was no longer tense and her fingers had started to gently pull at his hair, as she moaned gently and quietly. _Oh, my angel, I have done nothing to deserve you_, he thought as he felt his lust growing heavier and heavier; until she let out a gasp and clenched around him, and he knew he could hold no longer and released himself inside of her. Blissful, he retreated himself and laid down next to her, holding her in his gentle embrace. He felt her tears warm in his chest.

"Why do you cry, my angel?" he asked her, kissing he forehead.

"What do you think God would say if he saw us now? Would he call us sinners? Would he damn us?" she questioned him.

"He would never damn you, you are one of his angels." He said to her. That made her laugh.

"But what about you, my love?"

"God cannot condemn me for loving something as heavenly as you. You are my salvation, and no one can condemn me for wanting to be saved." He said, and lost himself in her lips, and dreamt of something quite like heaven.


End file.
